Ground Lamb Defeats My Kitchen Foe, Curly Parsley: Meatballs and Meatloaf!

My sizable dinner last night. Spicy lamb meatloaf with sushi rice, kale, broccoli, and beets.

I hate curly parsley.

A lot, and not just because one time when I was chopping it up really finely, I sliced off a tiny chunk of my left index finger.

The texture. It's like the brillo pad of herbs.

It's annoyingly scratchy and gets stuck in your throat if it isn't pulverized.

You know the sound a cat makes when it's coughing up a hairball?

Interruptive hacking noise?

That's what I think of curly parsley. Ih-HAAAACK!

What else don't I like about it? The presentation.

Showered on the edge of a plate?

A giant sprig on top of your food?

The seventies called. They wanted their book on garnishing, and their brown and orange polyester shirts back, too.

For some reason, curly parsley is forever abundant at grocery stores in Vancouver, probably because nobody likes it, but you know what isn't?

Flat-leaf Italian parsley, the variety that I prefer. And when it is available, unless it's at a mom-and-pop produce store, it's expensive! Irritating first-world problems.

The only place that I am really, really happy to see curly parsley, is in the bowl of my food processor.

It is The Great Equalizer.

Where everything must become uniform, so that I may bend it to my will, and impose my vision of beauty upon it.

That sounds like some serious food war-era propaganda.

Earlier this week, a customer asked about what to do with ground lamb, other than work it into a pasta sauce, so I told him about a recent dinner (at home). Tender, spicy lamb meatballs, with a salad of cous cous, bulgur wheat, and curly parsley, drizzled with Balkan-style yogurt.

If anybody knows what to do with curly parsley, it's us Mediterranean folk.

Chop the shit out of it!

I made the same meat concoction again, but doubled the amount, and turned it into the softest, dreamiest meatloaf of my life. I usually find meatloaf to be a little gritty/sinewy, but The Great Equalizer is pefect for fixing that, too.

Give this recipe a try. It's so easy and really fantastic. As meatballs, the caramelized edges will make you want to eat every single one. As a meatloaf, you will want to take a giant slice and use it as a pillow.

Use the best quality ground lamb that you can find. I picked up some Fraser Valley lamb from Big Lou's Butcher Shop in Vancouver. Awesome news, they just celebrated their first year in business, and won WEVancouver's gold medal for the city's Best Butcher Shop category. The people have spoken, hooray!



Spicy Lamb Mixture
Prep time: 15 minutes
Cook time: 20 minutes - 1 hour

Plenty of herbs, spices, and fresh aromatics help make this a tender, juicy meal with lots of flavour. Try it as meatballs, meatloaf, try both with one batch...pipe it into sausage casing, make tiny meatballs on skewers for appetizers! Why not!

As spice blends vary, these are the measurements that worked for me and my cupboard, you may find that you need more or less, and starting with 1 tbsp of each is a good place to begin before testing for seasoning.

6 cloves garlic, peeled and smashed
1 large red onion, peeled and halved
2 heaping tbsp ginger, peeled, smashed, roughly chopped
3 sun dried tomato halves
half a bunch curly parsley, picked
half a bunch cilantro, picked
1/2 cup water
1/2 tsp chili pepper flakes
1 tbsp ras al hanout spice mix
1 1/2 tbsp Madras curry
1 1/2 tbsp zataar spice
1 1/2 tbsp tandoori spice
1 1/2 tbsp paprika
6 pinches of salt (maybe more)
2 lbs lamb
1 egg
1/2 cup panko bread crumbs


1. Move your oven racks to the center levels, reheat your oven to 350°F and...

a...if you're making meatloaf, line a 9"x9" baking pan (or a few smaller ones) with parchment paper.

b...if you're making meatballs, line a few baking sheets with parchment.

2. Fill the bowl of your food processor with the garlic, onion, ginger, sun dried tomatoes, parsley, cilantro, and water. Blitz, scraping down the sides occasionally, until it's a smooth paste.

3. Add spices and salt. Continue to buzz.

4. Add half the lamb. Process until smooth and fully blended, then transfer to a large bowl. Get a non-stick pan on the stove, medium heat.

5. Grind the remaining lamb in the food processor just until it becomes a smooth paste. Add it to the bowl.

6. Crack the egg on top of the lamb, and sprinkle on the bread crumbs. Mix everything together with a sturdy spatula.

7. Test-cook about a tablespoon of the lamb in the pan. Season and re-test the remaining mix to taste.

8a...if making meatloaf, gently spread the meat into the lined baking pan(s) and bake until a thermometer inserted into the middle reads 165°F.

8b...if you're making meatballs, gently scoop 3 tbsp portions of the meat, toss them from hand to hand until they just form into balls, and fry (in batches) until caramelized on all sides. Transfer them to the lined baking sheets and finish cooking in the oven until a thermometer inserted into the middle of the largest-looking one reads 165°F.

These are both especially good with tzatziki sauce.

Every time I make meatballs, there's none for the next day, but you know what meatloaf is great for?

LEFTOVERS!

Meatloaf sandwiches!
Meatloaf stir-fry!
Meatloaf sushi!
Meatloaf donburi bowls with kimchi!
Meatloaf fried rice with pineapple and kale! Put Sriracha and Hoi Sin sauce on it! Yeah!

That's what my food looks like when I'm hungry and not making it look pretty for blogging...a hot mess on a weird plate...until it then arrives on my blog.

Don't scoff, just try it!

I am drawing the line at deep-fried meatloaf on a stick with ketchup on top.

Paula Deen can claim that one if she wants it.

I'm already eating a giant slab of meat-cake, don't need to take it any further than that.

The meatloaf tastes like a spicy, gamey SPAM, but is way better for you. I think that the young kids would go apeshit for this in Korea, Hawaii and the Philippines.

Regular meatloaf and meatballs are awesome already, but maybe you will love this, something new!

Curly parsley doesn't stand a chance.

Kari